Me, the Elephant, and Field Day.

As the end of the school year draws near, I am reminded of my past and the absolute horror of the last day of school.  FIELD DAY.

The first field day that I remember was in the third grade.  That was the year that I got a participation ribbon only and got called an elephant by one of my good boy friends.  I was devastated.

I so wanted to win a real ribbon.  I was involved in every event and gave my all. 

But...

I was chubby and already undergoing puberty.  I was a good head taller than most of my classmates and outweighed most by at least 30 pounds.  Say what you want, but I knew I was different.  I felt different. 

I remember sweating, trying, being called an elephant while trying to win the balloon stomp and getting that stinking participation ribbon.

From that point forward, weight dominated my thinking.  It was not my environment, my parents divorce, my classmates. No, it was being and feeling different.  Feeling slow.  Feeling fat.

To this day, I cannot eat like a normal person.  I have to consider everything I put in my mouth and can only eat 1,000-1,200 calories a day to maintain any weight loss.  I cannot eat sweets.  I cannot eat complex carbohydrates.  I cannot drink pop or alcohol.

I finally have a healthy relationship with food.  I use it as fuel and have taken up exercise.  I drink plenty of water.  I like what I see when I look in the mirror.

While I wish my field day experience could serve as a life lesson; rather, it serves as a marker in my life.  It was the first day I knew I was fat and different. 

When I think about what might make me feel better?  An adult FIELD DAY.  Who's in?

Love and ribbons, Kris