Day 55: 5K (Race for the Cure) and No Crazy Meds? You got that right!

I am so excited to spend my MOIST EXCELLENT day running my first 5K.  Clay and I are headed into Columbus for the Race for the Cure.  It will be our first 5K together and a cause that is dear to my heart.  I have lost many friends and friends of my Mom: Janice Adkins, Maggie Fodor and Karen Brantley Grimes, to name a few.  My Great Aunt Myrtle also had breast cancer.  The impact of losing so many women has left an indelible mark on my heart.  This disease must be cured.  No more patches and medicine.  I think we are due world.  The last disease to be "cured" was polio.  Since then, we have a lot of research and a lot of medicine.  OK, I will get off of my soap box and enjoy my day.  Eff Cancer.  Cure Cancer!

So, back to us.

We are walk/jog/running our first 5K.  I would never have seen this 2 months ago.  But, alas, we are here.  We are happy.  I run today in honor of my friends and family who have been defeated on earth by this deadly disease.  I pray for those dealing with the disease on a daily basis and pray for a cure.  Enough is enough!

I also want to share an epiphany I had on day 26 of my journey to get healthy.  On that day, I decided to stop taking my Depression/Anxiety medicine Pristiq.  Please understand, I am not a Doctor and in no way got his permission to quit cold turkey.  But, damnit, I was sick of relying on medicine to calm my mood and dull my emotions and make me EVEN.  For the first 2 weeks, I felt miserable.  I was irritable, had crying spurts, had irrational thoughts and experienced hot/cold flashes.  On the 5th day, I almost took a pill but decided I would give life without crazy meds a good shot.  While I would never recommend stopping this medication cold turkey, I am glad that I did.  I am actually "feeling" for the first time in years.

See, I was diagnosed with depression at age 17.  I fell into a horrific depression during my junior and senior year of high school.  I lost 50 and then gained 65 pounds.  Since then, I have battled depression.  Please keep in mind, most folks that know me would never see me as depressed.  But I am clinically depressed.  What I know is: Depression is not a choice.  Depression is a disease.  Since then, I have tried counseling and every drug in the book.  I have had periods of depression and despair as an adult.  My worst bout of depression set in after my Mom got so sick for the first time in 2007.  I was existing and wanted to be numb.  I started on Pristiq and was able to at least go through the motions of life.

So, why did I put away my crazy drugs?  I felt good.  I wanted to feel.

Since saying goodbye to Pristiq and outlasting the withdrawal symptoms, I feel human.  I laugh, cry, get nervous and FEEL.  I am glad that I took this step.  We shall see where it takes me but for today:

1. I am running a race.
2. I am spending the day with my love and best friend.  Even though I know he is in it for the BOOBIES and Yoga Pants!  Men? =D
3. I am not feeding the cash cow that IS the Pharmaceutical Industry.

I am FEELING.  I am also drinking my SPARK BABY!  Life is good!

Love and EFF Cancer, Kris